3T's Rough Guide To The US


Jacko's nephs spill the beans on America - the land of popcorn, plastic surgery and pompoms... as if!

High School Proms
Taj: The prom is supposed to be the big night of your life. It's very important that you go with a date, so some people show up with blind dates - like, a friend has to set them up cos they can't find their own partner. It's pretty sad.
Taryll: My prom was done on a Las Vegas gambling theme, apart from the fact that we weren't gambling for real money - they were only fake chips.
Taj: I was sick during my prom, but I did enjoy it. I had a cold, in case you were wondering!

Saturday afternoon 'activities'
Taj: We either sleep or play video games. I guess we're just big slobs!
TJ: We used to do the baseball games a lot. Those are excellent! You go to a big World Series game and, like, root for a team with your whole family.

Taj: The Hard Rock Cafe's cool, so are Planet Hollywood and The Fashion Cafe. Larry Parker's is where loads of celebrities hang out.
Taryll: And then there's Jerry's Famous Deli! That's the No. 1 trend! It's got pictures of plays and movies all over the wall.

Taj: Dodger dogs. They're long and very thin - about a foot long. And Animal Crackers. (little vanilla wafers)
Taj: Snapples (fruity drinks). You guys have those here.
Taryll: I don't think so, buddy...
Taj: They do so!
Taryll: (laughing) Fight! Fight! Fight!
Taj: You definately don't have Sweet Tarts over here. They're fruity things you suck on, and they taste really good.
First Dates
Taj: It's got to be the movies. We have open air places, though I reckon they're too dangerous. That's how America can be really scary. Someone'll probably pull up with a gun and steal your car... and take your girl with them!

Hip Clothes
TJ: Our style is PJ's (pyjama-style bottoms) though other American guys wear really baggy clothes. And the girls wear these little baby shirts and tight pants.

Taryll: All-American kids have to have pagers so they can look cool.
Taj: I always have my video camera with me.
Taryll: I must have my tapes and my walkman.
TJ: I don't carry much. My life's in my car. I've got my school books in there, my clothes... It's true! I sleep in my car!

Taryll: Hawaii is so romantic - just you and the lady. Oh, and those hula dancers - they're nice! (He starts hula-ing on the spot!)

Taj: "Seventeen" for girls. And for teenage boys...
All: "Playboy"!
Taryll: That's so sad...we all thought of that at the same time!

Latest Crazes
Taj: Rollarblades.
Taryll: And candles and pictures of angels for the girls(!).

Taj: You guys are a lot more creative when it comes to wacky TV shows - they just wouldn't exist in America! It's all boring stuff there - no variety and nothing for kids.
TJ: British TV is really off the wall and loads more entertaining!
Taj: But we have about 500 channels and that's pretty good!

TJ: They're OK, but - in terms of architecture - I don't think they're as nice as London hotels. Here it's all so biiiig! I opened the door and I was like, "Wow! Excellent! A-plus!"

And to sum up the main differences between the UK and the US...
Taj: You Brits are so much friendlier. You can go up to someone and say "Hi!" and they'll talk to you. In America, you say "Hi!" and they think you're gonna rob them.
Taryll: I feel like I'm really welcomed here. In America, it's like you walk in somewhere and people are going, (pulls a sneery face) "Yeah? Whaddya want?" It's every man for himself.
Taj: Here, they take care of you and ask you if you need anything. You guys are so polite!
Taryll: It makes you not want to go back!
Aw shucks...
Stateside Lingo

'She's fine' or 'She's hot' That girl is gorge. ("Erm, we don't personally have an equivalent for guys..." explains Taryll)

'Excellent! Awesome! Radical! It's really rather super.

'Bible?'/'Bible!' Are you telling me the truth?/I am telling you the truth! ("Like, if Taj is telling me something and I want to know if he's telling me the truth, I go 'Bible?'" says Taryll. "And if he is, he'll say "Bible!" back to me...")

'I smell ya!' Erm, I understand where you're coming from!

'Dooky!' or 'That stinks!' No no no sir! ("We don't really talk like they do in Clueless though," explains Taryll. "We don't go, like, 'She's a Be-tty!' No no no, we do not!")
Live & Kicking

2004-2011 "3T's Detour" detour3t.com